Ingredient Improviser T-Shirts

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Jazz is Invented

Lockdown casserole

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

The Hammer

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

Eating raw cake mix.

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

Your Dinner Is In The Potato Skin

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"Please yourself, I'll add salt if you like but I'm only dyeing a pair of socks..."

"And I'm telling YOU it looks exactly like the picture. See?"

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

'We added on to the couch.'

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

'So, what part of the house are we delivering shock and awe to this weekend?'

'I hope you like it. I call it refrigerator cleanout casserole.'

"I said no to a man cave but I compromised on a dugout."

'So one day I said to myself, 'What am I doing living in this run down house when I could be living on my boat?'

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'