Ingredient Innovator T-Shirts

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"Please yourself, I'll add salt if you like but I'm only dyeing a pair of socks..."

"I've added some dehydrated non-vegetable oil sulphites so it's more like mum used to make."

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Toadstools

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

Honest Vending

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

"Mom, I'm at work – let me call you back after I finish stocking milk for wealthy vegans who like beet juice in their meat alternatives so they can still get that bloody effect when cooking without guilt."

"They always throw us stale bread, so I've decided to bake my own, fresh break..."

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

"That was a great ideaof yours, chester."

"We needed to replace our kitchen floor and it kind of grew from there."

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"What if Newton came up with a different idea from a fallen apple."

Cook in the cookery section.

"Well..I think the old Thermograph machine I rescued from work goes a treat with our kitchen units."

"No thanks, mom. I don't think I'll have any broccoli short cake."

'Diet considerations.'

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

Junior Masterchef - "Darren Smith and I'll be cooking chicken nuggets with Mars bars in a CocaCola sauce"

"Can you reinvent the classic grilled cheese for me?"

'Beat 3,000 eggs and add one quart of 10-30W oil? So much for putting my recipes on the computer.'

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"I wonder what our self-cooking kitchen has for us today."

"Fresh pepper?"

"I'm a pragmatist, Leon. Before I put a new product on the market, I ask myself, 'Will it sell?' "

'Propane ran out.'

'The chef is just making your cheesecake now, sir.'

'Isn't it great? It gives us four times the storage space as a regular fridge!'

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

'It's amazing how many recipes you can find with courgettes in them when you have to'

"And not only do I make my own pizza sauce, I have a special way of crushing the tomatoes!"