Ingredient Improviser Pillows

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

Jazz is Invented

Lockdown casserole

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

The Hammer

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

Cooking With Pollock.

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

Eating raw cake mix.

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

I work all day landscaping. I'm too tired to do all the yard work at home. Teddy, you're big enough to use my power tools. I know exactly who to call for help. Tap tap tap. Not the power tool I was referring to.

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

"And I'm telling YOU it looks exactly like the picture. See?"

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"Please yourself, I'll add salt if you like but I'm only dyeing a pair of socks..."

'Now a lot of people throw the wax away, but if you can get yourself a can of Cheez Whiz, you can have fancy treats all night long!'

Your Dinner Is In The Potato Skin

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

'We added on to the couch.'

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

'So, what part of the house are we delivering shock and awe to this weekend?'

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

"I said no to a man cave but I compromised on a dugout."

'So one day I said to myself, 'What am I doing living in this run down house when I could be living on my boat?'

'I hope you like it. I call it refrigerator cleanout casserole.'

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'