Group Improviser Gifts

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

Jazz is Invented

Do you have to play air guitar every time we sing?

The Hammer

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

I work all day landscaping. I'm too tired to do all the yard work at home. Teddy, you're big enough to use my power tools. I know exactly who to call for help. Tap tap tap. Not the power tool I was referring to.

'We added on to the couch.'

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

'This way, we'll never lose track of the remote.'

Inflate a job!

"I said no to a man cave but I compromised on a dugout."

'So one day I said to myself, 'What am I doing living in this run down house when I could be living on my boat?'

'I do, but no promises.'

"You're a fool, Carl - a fool and an idiot."

Piano desk.

'It spoils the decor, but it sure saves money on TV sets.'

Jacques Loussier.

"We could hire another accountant and secretary, but wouldn't it be fun to have a barista?"