Household Improvisation Gifts

"He's starting to make coffee in the mailbox, isn't he?"

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

Lockdown casserole

Acclaimed mother.

The Hammer

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

Cooking With Pollock.

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

'There's something you should know about washable wallpaper,pet!'

"I didn't feel any 'earthquake'."

'Oh, sow some interest! How many 8-year-olds can play the '1812' on a vacuum hose?'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

Eating raw cake mix.

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

I work all day landscaping. I'm too tired to do all the yard work at home. Teddy, you're big enough to use my power tools. I know exactly who to call for help. Tap tap tap. Not the power tool I was referring to.

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

'Now a lot of people throw the wax away, but if you can get yourself a can of Cheez Whiz, you can have fancy treats all night long!'

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

'We added on to the couch.'

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

"I figured one of us should use it!"

'This way, we'll never lose track of the remote.'

'It spoils the decor, but it sure saves money on TV sets.'

"I said no to a man cave but I compromised on a dugout."

Wallpapering.