Household Improvisation Gifts

"He's starting to make coffee in the mailbox, isn't he?"

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

Lockdown casserole

Acclaimed mother.

The Hammer

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

'I didn't have time to cut the lawn, so I used your credit card to have it carpeted. Do you like the cool color I picked out?'

'Oh, sow some interest! How many 8-year-olds can play the '1812' on a vacuum hose?'

"I didn't feel any 'earthquake'."

'There's something you should know about washable wallpaper,pet!'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

Eating raw cake mix.

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

'We added on to the couch.'

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

"I figured one of us should use it!"

Wallpapering.

"I said no to a man cave but I compromised on a dugout."

'It spoils the decor, but it sure saves money on TV sets.'

'So one day I said to myself, 'What am I doing living in this run down house when I could be living on my boat?'