Recipe Improviser Gifts

'Thaw for 24 hours. They should have told me that yesterday.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

Jazz is Invented

Lockdown casserole

The Hammer

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

"Bill just does celebrity cook-books these days, that's where the real money is."

'Lets all thank Martha for her very innovative 'Hot Dog Crepes'.'

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'Cook is a musician. Improvises. Never makes the same thing twice.'

'What a day! - the computer broke down, and I had to cook manually!'

Cooking With Pollock.

'It's amazing how many recipes you can find with courgettes in them when you have to'

"We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced the can opener."

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

"If you liked tonight's meal, you might enjoy 'Making The Meal,' a documentary with outtakes and commentary when the cook ran out of eggs because someone put an empty carton back in the refrigerator..."

'There are no search results for Pomeranian on the Foodnetwork.'

Okay, let me guess...we're eating baked ham and meat loaf on a bed of fish sticks because you combined all the leftovers...

Eating raw cake mix.

"My trick for enjoying kale? I put in blueberries, a banana, a scoop of vanilla ice cream and ice. Then I throw the kale in the trash and blend."

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

'Now a lot of people throw the wax away, but if you can get yourself a can of Cheez Whiz, you can have fancy treats all night long!'

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

"And I'm telling YOU it looks exactly like the picture. See?"

'We added on to the couch.'

I work all day landscaping. I'm too tired to do all the yard work at home. Teddy, you're big enough to use my power tools. I know exactly who to call for help. Tap tap tap. Not the power tool I was referring to.

"I hope you like smoked salmon."

Your Dinner Is In The Potato Skin

"You don't use a cookbook, Tia Carmen?"

Five seconds before the first turducken.

"She'll only eat it if I cut it up in cloverleaf shapes, serve it on a blue plate, and do a little dance as I serve it."

'Someone added chocolate chips to all my recipe files. Do you know anything about that?'

'So, what part of the house are we delivering shock and awe to this weekend?'