Tv Improvisers T-Shirts

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

Jazz is Invented

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

The Hammer

'OK, the worn out carpeting proves I snack too much. Only one thing to do. Tomorrow I get prices on hardwood floors.'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

'We have an emergency, ladies and gentlemen! We need help - can anybody in the audience play the tambourine.'

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

'So the guidance suggests that if anyone threatens you, throw it them.'

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

Your performance since you came here suggests you may have lied on your resume.

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

"My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references."

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

"Thanks for coming in again. Sorry about the last time. I must have pulled the wrong lever by mistake."

Castaway with a tennis court.

"It's just until the air conditioning in our house is fixed."

Thesaurus Editors Applicants,Candidates,Entrants,Inquirers,Job-seekers.

"Try some improv, they said. The king will it, they said!"

"That's not a mistake, that's jazz."

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

Washing Line - "I thought you wanted a clothes dryer."

Hell on trio island

'We added on to the couch.'

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

"You're a fool, Carl - a fool and an idiot."

'So one day I said to myself, 'What am I doing living in this run down house when I could be living on my boat?'

'It spoils the decor, but it sure saves money on TV sets.'