Amusing Improvisers Gifts

'I'm a loaf of bread.'

Bad Timbre: the world's first Garage Philharmonic Orchestra

"To make this interview more entertaining I would like you to take a breath of helium before answering the questions."

Jazz is Invented

'OK, so I fumbled. Now can you cure it or not?'

'I'm re-enacting a battle with my conscience.'

'I made a Valentine's Day card for you. The school has no art supplies so I wrote the color in.'

"I'm fascinated by your résumé, particularly the advertising supplement."

The Augie Twins write music strictly for their own amusement.

Your performance since you came here suggests you may have lied on your resume.

"When you tell your Father how you're dropping out of college to be a renaissance faire entertainer, the least you could do is break character."

'We've run out of one-man plays - why not make it up with the rest of the drama group?'

"My next song is a little ditty about why I don't have any references."

"You're not giving me the job because I'm 'over qualified'? Oh, don't worry, most of those qualifications have been falsified."

"Thanks for coming in again. Sorry about the last time. I must have pulled the wrong lever by mistake."

Hell on trio island

"The line in the script was actually 'Woof woof,' but, when we started shooting, 'Bow wow' came out, and the rest is history."

"Try some improv, they said. The king will it, they said!"

Thesaurus Editors Applicants,Candidates,Entrants,Inquirers,Job-seekers.

"That's not a mistake, that's jazz."

Harpist using her bed frame as a harp.

'Sometimes if things blow onto the canvas I just leave em there.'

"Higher...to the right. Ahhh...that's nice!"

'It spoils the decor, but it sure saves money on TV sets.'

"You're a fool, Carl - a fool and an idiot."

'I'm not sure that mentioning your diploma in 'Monkey Business' really helps your resume...'

Jacques Loussier.

'The problem isn't your high definition television, it's your low definition eyes.'

'Why, I don't exactly know -- how long HAVE we been here, Bobo?'

'The potato masher you bought me broke so I improvised.'

'I couldn't find real fruit for your still life painting, so we'll just use these fruit roll-ups.'

"Social Security forced you to come for this interview didn't they!"

"I forgot to say I was breast-fed."