Financial Innovator Gifts

"Mr. Jones, I'm taking you out of stocks and into kickstarter."

"I really like to push the envelope. I've even been known to do quintuple-entry bookkeeping!"

ACME INDUSTRIES NEW PRODUCTS DIVISION, 'The best part is, it can repossess itself!'

'It seems to work, I couldn't afford a blackberry!'

'I think the new V. P. of Global Development is here.'

"Remember when we kicked him off Mars?"

Early Attempt at Quantitative Easing.

What've you been up to since college, Lemont? Oh, I became a journalist … had a kid, blah blah … but I wanna hear about you, Rudy. Grigori Rasputin. How've you been all these years? How's your Uncle Mort? Are you a Russian spy? Boop boop boop. How'd that stomach-tumble-translator startup you founded in the nineties go? Wait ... what did you say you became? What do they have on President Trump? How's your cat? Boop.

"The Internet startup had only enough cash for one more day. But, miraculously, the money lasted for eight days, until more venture capital could be raised."

Cloud Computing.

Aluminium Henge

'I want to see more blue sky thinking.'

"I know we said we would get you a laptop.. but this will have to do until business gets better."

'I hope you don't mind me bringing a few medical students in to see you. '

The power of the brain

"Pretty impressive for a product of a 3-D printer."

My First Bitcoin.

'Are you thinking what I'm thinking?'

"In other news, oil and gas prices became irrelevant today when scientists announced that pretty much anything can run on caffeine."

Next Sunday - Rap Mass! 'I thought we reached the limit when we had that jazz mass.'

"The pension crisis prompted me to consider alternative invstments. Like Roulette."

"That 'give it away free' strategy certainly worked well."

'We can't rely upon pas successes...we have to radically restructure the way we work, change our core values and build form the ground up.'

"We have a new line of designer hedge funds...the Topiary Group."

'Dammit, Gentlemen! We need someone who's not afraid to 'poop outside the box'!'

"I brought in Ron to help us reach an untapped resource."

'I've created hundreds of jobs. Of course, they're all going to be automated.'

Two words, boss: Virtual reality. We glue virtual reality goggles to our coffee mugs. Come again? When patrons sip their Himalayan mochas, they'll think they're dangling from a cliff in the Himalayan mountains. People will come from Miles around! People will throw up for miles around. We'll give patrons mops that double as virtual reality hockey sticks. This conversation is virtually over.

Mark Zuckerberg

'Would everyone please join hands for a moment? I'd like to try jump-starting this meeting!'

'That's Fred, the new hire. He's one of those corporate renaissance types who erases organization-chart boundaries wherever he goes!'

"I think I need a professional money manager. I invest sixty five percent of my money gambling in casinos and thirty five percent I keep under the mattress."

Snakecharming.

'This space could be working for you' - entrepreneurs concert.

Things move fast round here! Including the new processor!