Investing Innovator Gifts

Never understood the 'buy low, sell high' theory.

The Department of Really Stupid Ideas: 'Most people think they just appear out of thin air! But the truth is, there's a great deal of very hard work involved!'

Phrenology bust with sections for different currencies.

'Now that I have your attention...'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

The day the stock market went UP.

"Stock options for your thoughts."

"My older self travels back just to remind me to put the cap back on this pen?"

Golly, �1m a year isn't too much. I don't know why your shareholders don't understand you.

'We've set the bar quite high at this company. It helps us control bonuses.'

'I think you are taking this elevator pitch way too literally'.

"This is not permanent...we'll be back as soon as things start to look up."

'This time we're going to do things right. And if that doesn't work, we'll just go back to stealing.'

Profit

"If a stock falls in the market, and it had no investors, does it really lose its value?"

Large Dollar Sign Office Block

'Whoever said 'The only thing we have to fear is fear itself' never had a room full of angry shareholders.'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Valuable business advice from some famous disruptive technologies.

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

"Third quarter numbers were good after we cut our global workforce three to two."

Today we'll see some misused or misunderstood financial and economic terms. It's said inflation can hurt the economy. But it's absolutely in the tire business. I bought this warm puffy jacket with cash. A down payment. We like beer and coffee. Our most valuable liquid assets. In a monopoly breakup, the race car would to go one person and the dog to another. And when I become either a buyer or a seller. He's shorting the market!

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

"It creates the illusion of risk but you know you're perfectly safe."

'Can't they just switch to smaller barrels?'

'There's good news and bad news, J. B. - we now control 51% of this corporation's stock!'

"So, we look to the fourth quarter as a time of healing."

'We've financed three more startups for no fathomable reason.'

Or as I prefer to call it, the 'feel-good' factor.

'The prevailing wisdom is that markets are always right. I think that luck is always right.'

"Obviously some people here don't appreciate the gravity of our situation."

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

"Gentlemen, I'm pleased to say the firm is perfectly positioned to avoid chapter eleven and still be in existence this time next year."

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

"I keep feeling we should float the company"