Finance Joke Collector Gifts

And this is the computer that sends out final demands.

'It's rather unorthodox, but it appears the deposit refund on the empties will cover your first interest payment.'

Boss to worker taking out wallet: 'It's only fair, Pete. Last year, we shared profits!'

"The Capt'n maintains a balanced portfolio should include a number of off-shore accounts."

"You have to declare what you rob from the rich, but you can deduct what you give to the poor."

'I owe you an apology, Greffman -- Let's keep it that way.'

"Let's vote. All those in favour of flying to Switzerland, withdrawing our secret bank account and splitting?"

'Fair warning, I'm in one of my 'moods'.'

"Oh no! - we forgot to pay the exorcist... we've been repossessed!!"

And if you help drive the herd all the way to Kansas City, you get to keep one steer for yourself! The first stock option.

'We harbour few illusions here at Megatron Inc.'

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

I can't believe It!

A rising tide may lift all boats but I sank all my savings in beachfront properties.

'You call it a beer belly, I prefer to think of it as a lump sum settlement of liquid assets.'

Ace Borrowing Company (formerly Ace Loan Company)

"Well, if I was ambitious, we'd have a nice house and more money, but I'd never be around."

"I only invest in alternative meat products, so I reject the terms 'Bull' and 'Bear'."

Luck of the IRS.

"Tag! Your salary's frozen."

'Why haven't you done the staff cuts I ordered?'

"I'm afraid we don't offer student loans to elementary school pupils."

"All those who object to me replacing the board with crash test dummies, please raise our hands."

"We try to inject a little humor in our statements, but you should take them seriously."

"Can't hear it at all, miss."

'I just asked to see the annual figures...'

The death Tax = Loads of Cash.

Some cultures use fish as money. 'Got change for a halibut?' 'Sure! Minnows OK?

'HARRHARRHARR! Finally! The stock that arouses a feeling of happiness even when it becomes completely worthless!'

'Frankly, Charles, I'm having a hard time handling our investments'.

"Take this with a grain of salt, Birnbaum, you're fired."

Squirrel Pyramid Scheme

Got Customers?

'My latest invention...the credit rock!'

Economists explain the National Debt: 'Don't Worry! Be Happy!'