Fight Promoter Gifts

Vicorious Boxer's horse shoe falling onto referee.

'OK - so I ain't allowed to bite'im - but where in the rules does it say that I ain't allowed to eat 'im?'

A young Don King

Create some buzz!

"You may inflict pain, but it mustn't be severe or prolonged."

'I'd better make a note of your blood group...'

Mayo-A-Mayo

'It looks suspiciously like Killer Hart is taking a dive!'

Gym. Instructor. Why do you want to learn kickboxing? I've always wanted to win a fight hands down!

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

'Don't forget the plan - When he gets weak from laughing - Hit him with your left!'

'It appears Alzedo is toying with his opponent.'

Club DJ.

'That was a peach of a right hander the referee gave you!'

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

'Work the jab! Move your feet! Attack, attack, attack! ...But be careful. He's got a human shield.'

Wrestling Champion.

"Hey Ref - any chance you can get those buzzards to quit circling over my fighter?"

'Break a leg.' - 'Thanks a lot.'

"Telephone call for you, it's the Bank Manager."

'Try hitting him harder.' 'Is that all you have to say?' 'Try hitting him harder, PLEASE.'

Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the Wood

An honesty of agents

The Knockout.

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

'Such petulance!'

'He has a great left hook,'

'Look at it this way...you're like a big pop star! The hits just keep on coming!'

'Look out for his low punches.'

"I gave him 'the old one two' just like you told me to. But then he gave me 'the old three four'."

"The hardest thing about winning bouts? The other guy's fists"

"Narrative play is dead."

The Supreme Court and the March of Progress

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.