Performer Promoter Gifts

An honesty of agents

Create some buzz!

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"He's got a great future behind him!"

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

Garage Music

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

Concert still in progress

Make love not war

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

Club DJ.

"I'm going to a concert by a really famous superstar....he deserves to be pelted with expensive organic tomatoes!"

Circus trousers

"Don't peddle your new book until the seminar's over."

"Narrative play is dead."

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

Ventriloquist Speech Therapy.

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

"Our only hope is that the book gets banned."

"So much for that publicity stunt."

Hmmm

Archers.

"I've got to take this. It's somebody at a much better party."

'Don't worry, I'm just here to promote my book.'

"People...People who need people...."

"And now, our newest hit song..."

Oli was a walking advertisement for thickening & revitalizing shampoos & conditioners.

"Thank you and goodnight! You've been a great audience."

"You gotta admit, they rock PRETTY hard for a group with no arms."