Art Promoter Gifts

"We do a lot of amazing work bringing the arts to people who don't want the arts."

'It says, 'Like many of the greats, he was a brilliant self-publicist.'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Create some buzz!

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

'Shouldn't we spend a little time on the ARTS?'

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

"He's got a great future behind him!"

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

Funding Cuts for the Arts

Garage Music

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

"But. . . editorial cartoons can make readers think!"

Concert still in progress

'Help me Rhonda I've fallen & I can't get back up.'

Please help: National Endowment for the Arts

'You bought it - you can lie in it!'

"Now on view: Old paintings by dead white men through whenever…"

Tilted painting

This program is made possible by donations from Don and Mary Doughaberg, and from lowlifes like you who never get their names mentioned.

'Old blue-screen's back!'

John Ruskin

Muse

'This one is from my pre-arts grant period'

'I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but in order for Act 3 to go on we'll need an additional $17,000!'

"I'm going to a concert by a really famous superstar....he deserves to be pelted with expensive organic tomatoes!"

An honesty of agents

"Don't peddle your new book until the seminar's over."

A Low Budget Philharmonic Orchestra

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

Landlord makes a song and dance about the rent at a theatre

Useful vs. Wasteful Spending . . . Arts Programs and Missile Defense Programs.

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

"Our only hope is that the book gets banned."