Art Promoter T-Shirts

"We do a lot of amazing work bringing the arts to people who don't want the arts."

'It says, 'Like many of the greats, he was a brilliant self-publicist.'

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Create some buzz!

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

'Shouldn't we spend a little time on the ARTS?'

"You're not a real fan. You're just dressed up like a slut for attention."

"He's got a great future behind him!"

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

Funding Cuts for the Arts

Garage Music

"Now on view: Old paintings by dead white men through whenever…"

Tilted painting

"But. . . editorial cartoons can make readers think!"

Please help: National Endowment for the Arts

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

Concert still in progress

"I'm going to a concert by a really famous superstar....he deserves to be pelted with expensive organic tomatoes!"

John Ruskin

'This one is from my pre-arts grant period'

'I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but in order for Act 3 to go on we'll need an additional $17,000!'

This program is made possible by donations from Don and Mary Doughaberg, and from lowlifes like you who never get their names mentioned.

An honesty of agents

A Low Budget Philharmonic Orchestra

"Don't peddle your new book until the seminar's over."

"Viewers should be advised: the following debate on public funding for the arts contains violence and adult language."

Landlord makes a song and dance about the rent at a theatre

Useful vs. Wasteful Spending . . . Arts Programs and Missile Defense Programs.

"Our only hope is that the book gets banned."

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'