Art Patron T-Shirts

"I'm bored with triptychs. Paint me a quadriptych."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Tilted painting

John Ruskin

Tut and Carmen.

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

Funding Cuts for the Arts

Theatrical emotion of Mr. Vincent Crummles

"Yes, but is it art?"

"Cultural economy - keep it going."

"But. . . editorial cartoons can make readers think!"

"Now on view: Old paintings by dead white men through whenever…"

"Take us to Lady Gaga."

'Doing this was easy. Finding someone nuts enough to buy the crap - THAT'S art!'

'My right brain isn't working.'

Please consider donating your cancelled ticket so that we may sing again for you very soon.

Circus trousers

'This one is from my pre-arts grant period'

'I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but in order for Act 3 to go on we'll need an additional $17,000!'

"I know it's only a thumbnail sketch, but I quite like it!"

'I highly recommend this painting if you're into art as an investment.'

'Supporting the arts'

Pavement Art.

At First Van Gogh attempts to impress by cutting off his ear flap.

Junk Art

"What's the tab on this bouillabaisse?"

Camille Saint-Saens.

'Scottish Arts Council? I'm looking for sponsorship to help me sit through a performance of Gotterdammerung.'

Ghost of Christmas Future

An artist paints a tree using a nude model.