Cultural Patron T-Shirts

"Cultural economy - keep it going."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Tut and Carmen.

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

"We must rise up and claim our rightful place at the table of society! We must never rest until we are given the respect and dignity we deserve! Chica power!"

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

'The Saxon King' pub

Surreal ale

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

Christmas sweater alternatives

I'd like to donate to your theater, but

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

Louisiana Mask Mandate

Theatrical emotion of Mr. Vincent Crummles

Would you like something from the bar, miss? It looks like you might need it.

Pub Kendo.

"Did Yogi Berra ever say anything besides 'It ain't over till it's over'?"

Year of the Rat

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"Ignore gordon. He's had a snootfull."

Tilted painting

"Yes, but is it art?"

"Take us to Lady Gaga."

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

'I badly need to speak to my husband - can you get me a job as a barmaid?'

Circus trousers

John Ruskin

'I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but in order for Act 3 to go on we'll need an additional $17,000!'

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'