Theatrical Patron T-Shirts

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Tut and Carmen.

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

'It's my favorite.'

“I may not know much about books, but I do know which titles burn best.”

"I'll have another Rob Roy and a cup of coffee for my friend here."

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

'The Saxon King' pub

Surreal ale

"I just saw some confused old goat pee all over the bathroom floor." "That was a mirror. And that wasn't the bathroom."

I'd like to donate to your theater, but

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

"Gotta go, lads, I smell death."

To-Let Town Centre Map

Theatrical emotion of Mr. Vincent Crummles

"It's easy for me. Three beers and I'm in the zone."

"Cultural economy - keep it going."

Would you like something from the bar, miss? It looks like you might need it.

"Ignore gordon. He's had a snootfull."

Tilted painting

"Yes, but is it art?"

Pub Kendo.

"Take us to Lady Gaga."

'Your wife doesn't understand you. . .'

John Ruskin

'I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but in order for Act 3 to go on we'll need an additional $17,000!'

Please consider donating your cancelled ticket so that we may sing again for you very soon.

'One thing about beer -- you never get buyer's remorse.'

'Can you do me a low alcohol tequila slammer?'

Circus trousers

'This one is from my pre-arts grant period'

Theater Owner Who Refused To Convert To Digital Projection.