Arts Patron Gifts

Lucia is further maddened by the early departure of a subscriber in a sports jacket.

'I'm sorry, ladies and gentlemen, but in order for Act 3 to go on we'll need an additional $17,000!'

'Scottish Arts Council? I'm looking for sponsorship to help me sit through a performance of Gotterdammerung.'

'This one is from my pre-arts grant period'

"Biff's old money, Angelo is new money and Boris is funny money."

"I call it 'Bad Dog.'"

Tut and Carmen.

"Can you speak up: there's a bloody racket going on in the background."

A woman with a novel and poetry handbag.

Sir Joseph Porter, KCB, First Lord of the Admiralty HMS Pinafore

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'Shouldn't we spend a little time on the ARTS?'

'I told you Nick's an absolute scream.'

I'd like to donate to your theater, but

"The audience is really classy tonight, they are throwing quail eggs."

Funding Cuts for the Arts

Theatrical emotion of Mr. Vincent Crummles

"Now on view: Old paintings by dead white men through whenever…"

"But. . . editorial cartoons can make readers think!"

Tilted painting

Rodin's Irish Judge

"Cultural economy - keep it going."

Please help: National Endowment for the Arts

"Yes, but is it art?"

Would you like something from the bar, miss? It looks like you might need it.

"Take us to Lady Gaga."

"I know it's only a thumbnail sketch, but I quite like it!"

Circus trousers

Please consider donating your cancelled ticket so that we may sing again for you very soon.

This program is made possible by donations from Don and Mary Doughaberg, and from lowlifes like you who never get their names mentioned.

John Ruskin

'I highly recommend this painting if you're into art as an investment.'

'Supporting the arts'

A Low Budget Philharmonic Orchestra

"You paid 1000 words for this picture!?"