Album Promoter Gifts

"We feel it would really bpost the new album of you came out of the closet..."

Create some buzz!

"That's our new church mascot."

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"He's got a great future behind him!"

"How do you expect him to grow up to be a pro if he doesn't start young?"

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

Garage Music

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

'Ask me about my portfolio.'

'He's a very superior dog. Even his fleas have pedigrees!'

Concert still in progress

Club DJ.

Make love not war

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

'The music business.'

"I'm going to a concert by a really famous superstar....he deserves to be pelted with expensive organic tomatoes!"

An honesty of agents

"Don't peddle your new book until the seminar's over."

"Narrative play is dead."

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

"Our only hope is that the book gets banned."

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

"So much for that publicity stunt."

"I've got to take this. It's somebody at a much better party."

Hmmm

Archers.

'Don't worry, I'm just here to promote my book.'

"And now, our newest hit song..."

"People...People who need people...."