Book Promoters Gifts

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"That's our new church mascot."

'How do I get people to visit my...'

'Shakespeare's Hamlet word for word - and I who always thought it was a crazy joke.'

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"He's got a great future behind him!"

"As you can see from the books behind me, I pretend to read a lot of books."

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

Garage Music

Children's Publishing - Child's portrait of 'Our Founder'.

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

'Help me Rhonda I've fallen & I can't get back up.'

'Ask me about my portfolio.'

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

Concert still in progress

Make love not war

Meet Zelda Wisteria, author of the book 'Leap, and the Net will Appear!'

'We won't publish your book 'The Life of a mayfly: An Autobiography' because it's only a page long!'

"I'm going to a concert by a really famous superstar....he deserves to be pelted with expensive organic tomatoes!"

'The manuscript is 'green' because it's typed entirely on the backs of rejection slips.'

Muse

'Old blue-screen's back!'

An honesty of agents

"Don't peddle your new book until the seminar's over."

"Our only hope is that the book gets banned."

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

Bookshop with Best sellers getting pushed into the Remainders basket.

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

"So much for that publicity stunt."

'Lost your kindle in the cab? Try my outdated destined-for-extinction, low-priced print edition.'

Archers.

'Don't worry, I'm just here to promote my book.'