Book Marketer Gifts

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

Bookshop with Best sellers getting pushed into the Remainders basket.

"Oh, we do this for every posthumous release."

'Williams, we're not used to receiving such excellent ideas as these, so we'd like to tone them down a bit.'

"These projections don't make sparkles shoot out my ass."

"The leadership team wants a catchy acronym for a new social media app they're calling Functional Applied Relationship Tracker. Any suggestions?"

"Well, ordinary men have colleagues. Successful men have victims."

'How fast can you hype?'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

Two children are running lemonade stands outside their home; one stand is more popular than the other.

"In recognition of last month's little upward blip, I suggest we allow ourselves a spontaneous victory fist bump."

'I vote we hang the darn thing upside down and go home!'

'We want everyone to remember our name.'

"Meet the embellisher 3-5 pm"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

Sale on the same stuff as last week.

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

'This is a 'placebo' line. It serves no purpose but it makes us feel good.'

"I'm razzled, but not dazzled."

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Dressed for Success!

A man peddles U.S. flags on the sidewalk, next to a man peddling copies of the U.S. constitution

'As our new company logo, I'm not quite sure it's sending out the right message.'

"...but the big question is, does the competition know that we don't know what we don't know?"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"A dozen eggs and a pint of semi-skimmed...Sorry, looks like I left my presentation in my other coat."

A presenter with a very complex chart to explain a business plan - 'And it's as simple as that!'

"Always remember, sweetheart, that when the service is free, YOU'RE the product!"

Creative department

"We don't call them 'horns' anymore. They're interactive audio crash deterrent stimulators."

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

'But you know I don't have brand loyalty for anyone but you!'