Book Agents Gifts

"Do you see yourself becoming a movie in five years?"

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

Sherlock Holmes selling Sherlock Holmes.

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

1599: Shakespeare's Agent knew what the public wanted

"Pssst! Do you have anything on American history?"

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

'Look - a starfish, its manager, its agent, its minders, its significant other, its make-up artist, its personal trainer, its secretary, its astrologer, its feng shui consultant...'

"Have you read any of Shakespeare's plays?"

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

"Your hunch was right, Officer Garcia. We'll need a good editor to clean up this manuscript and bring his unfinished novel to a satisfying conclusion."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Seth, here, is one of the best young creative compromisers in the business."

Blue Stockings - Female poet who has not sold any of her books

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

Books: The Wit and Wisdom of Ebenezer Scrooge

"Author does not do tricks."

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

Sue the Author 3PM

'As a famous writer, could you do something to help jumpstart my career?'

In a world where spelling doesn't count.

Spiritualism: Meet the Authors.

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

"No—You're thinking dog years—Editor years are twice as many."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit, today, sir - a ream of paper and a half-dozen pencils.'

Your resume begins Once Upon A Time...I like that!

Sign in a bookshop window offers chance to meet the narrator of the audio book.

"Moby Richard by Herman Melville" "Wonderful! Not sure about the title—let's discuss editor."

'The Lemming Book Store'

"If you saw a book with the title 'An American Speaks Out,' would you buy it?"

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."