Prose Promoter Gifts

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"That's our new church mascot."

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Queen Kong

'How do I get people to visit my...'

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

Garage Music

Make love not war

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

"Sure I'd love to buy thirty thousand subscriptions."

An honesty of agents

"Don't peddle your new book until the seminar's over."

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

In the interest of the environment, no plastic bags issued with purchases.

"Our only hope is that the book gets banned."

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

The Supreme Court and the March of Progress

Plagiarism

"So much for that publicity stunt."

Archers.

'Don't worry, I'm just here to promote my book.'

'Lost your kindle in the cab? Try my outdated destined-for-extinction, low-priced print edition.'

Oli was a walking advertisement for thickening & revitalizing shampoos & conditioners.

"You gotta admit, they rock PRETTY hard for a group with no arms."

"And now, our newest hit song..."

Cats-can-sell anything advertising agency.

'He's got laryngitis. I'll have to speak for him.'

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

"I hear good things about you from your publicist."

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

Plastic bag leaves

'Looks like the milk depot are doing a promotion on fireworks again.'