Prose Promoter Pillows

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"That's our new church mascot."

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

Convention for People Who Like to Attend Conventions.

Queen Kong

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

Garage Music

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

Make love not war

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

"Sure I'd love to buy thirty thousand subscriptions."

An honesty of agents

"Don't peddle your new book until the seminar's over."

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

Plagiarism

"Our only hope is that the book gets banned."

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

In the interest of the environment, no plastic bags issued with purchases.

"So much for that publicity stunt."

Archers.

'Don't worry, I'm just here to promote my book.'

"You gotta admit, they rock PRETTY hard for a group with no arms."

'He's got laryngitis. I'll have to speak for him.'

"And now, our newest hit song..."

Oli was a walking advertisement for thickening & revitalizing shampoos & conditioners.

Cats-can-sell anything advertising agency.

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

"I hear good things about you from your publicist."

Manager: 'EXCELLENT promoting Jan! It's another RECORD crowd!'

Meet the author of his own misfortune.