Literary Promoter Pillows

"Don't peddle your new book until the seminar's over."

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

German Expressionist Breakfast

The writer: something who devotes a lifetime of solitude to the same of communication.

'Yorick? No, I don't think so, unless of course he was a Neanderthal!'

"If the stars should appear one night in a thousand years, how would men believe and adore, and preserve for many generations the remembrance of the city of God which had been shown! … Emerson" "Good boy!"

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

Shakespeare's Brain

"My dad says this pencil was once used by William Shakespeare." "Is it 2B or not 2B?"

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

"Some Debussy, Igor."

Shakespeare in the clink

Franz Kafka

'Cap'n Ahab, Sir! Starbuck wants to know if you fancy a coffee.'

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

"Wallace couldn't come, but I brought some of his fussy prose."

The Taming of the Ewe

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

Three Witches from Macbeth

"He's got a great future behind him!"

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

Garage Music

"Today we will focus on how the author makes the same exact complaints about here life, from her sixth birthday and on."

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

Concert still in progress

"Somnambulant... somnambulant."

"Virginia Woolf meets 'Car Talk.'"

"It's lost all meaning in the steroid era."

Make love not war