Paperback Promoter Pillows

'My penmanship has really improved since I got a laser printer.'

'How fast can you hype?'

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

He was destined for greatness. Whatever that meant.

Two Generations of Readers

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"I think he said he wants to buy 'just the one'. You'd better fetch the manager"

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

Garage Music

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

"You'll get an office, a pay increase and a set of bad nicknames from your colleagues."

'I've been made junior partner.'

"Sure I'd love to buy thirty thousand subscriptions."

"Well you're obviously very good at your job so why don't we promote you to something you know nothing about!"

An honesty of agents

"Don't peddle your new book until the seminar's over."

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

"Big promotion for you Khanna - from Data Scientist to Big Data Scientist."

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

'You want a raise? - You only started work yesterday!'

"Our only hope is that the book gets banned."

"So much for that publicity stunt."

"I'm going to throw this contract out the window, hargraves. Bring it back to me and make sure someone's signature is on it."

'Don't worry, I'm just here to promote my book.'

"We're going paperless, so we'll have to find you another office."

Oli was a walking advertisement for thickening & revitalizing shampoos & conditioners.

"You gotta admit, they rock PRETTY hard for a group with no arms."

"Actually, I'm sitting here reading a book—just to see if I can still do it."

"And now, our newest hit song..."

"Well done, another winner, Haskins."

'I appreciate the new title, Mr Boyle, but what I could really use is a raise.'