Music Promoters Pillows

Create some buzz!

"That's our new church mascot."

'My manuscript is available for download on the internet. I'll email the link to you.'

"He's got a great future behind him!"

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"You're looking at the next Bob Dylan."

Garage Music

'I have Tourette's, and they play backup.'

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

Make love not war

Concert still in progress

Club DJ.

'The music business.'

"I'm going to a concert by a really famous superstar....he deserves to be pelted with expensive organic tomatoes!"

"Music has doubled my income..."

An honesty of agents

"Our only hope is that the book gets banned."

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

"Narrative play is dead."

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

"We've got Tom O'Brien on bass, Nick Weber on drums, and Jonah Petchesky on contracts."

"So much for that publicity stunt."

'Don't worry, I'm just here to promote my book.'

Hmmm

Archers.