Club Promoter Gifts

"Remember, deposit only - you, you, you!"

Club DJ.

"Boy - Talk about exclusive!"

"Telephone call for you, it's the Bank Manager."

Create some buzz!

'Ere-we distinctly asked for SAM an' Ella!'

"He's got a great future behind him!"

"This next song's about spreading risk in a volitile market by diversification"

Garage Music

"With your voice and my marketing skills, we'll sell records by the million!"

Make love not war

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

'Help me Rhonda I've fallen & I can't get back up.'

'Some of you may have heard that Dr. Weil is giving HIS talk right now in the next auditorium.'

Concert still in progress

"I'm so grateful to play for this fantastic club....a childhood dream come true!"

"Sure I'd love to buy thirty thousand subscriptions."

"I'm going to a concert by a really famous superstar....he deserves to be pelted with expensive organic tomatoes!"

'Old blue-screen's back!'

Muse

Employment Dept. Fill Out Job Applications Here. This application form has too much space for "work experience" and not enough for "leisure activities."

"Are you V.A.T. registered..?"

An honesty of agents

"One more thing...don't upset the bouncer!"

Football merchandising - 1953.

"Narrative play is dead."

'Usherettes and razzamatazz won't bring back the crowds - we need some new lions'.

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

THE RISE OF WOMEN'S BOXING

'Oh I retired a few months back...I'm a promoter now.'

"So much for that publicity stunt."

Hmmm

"I've got to take this. It's somebody at a much better party."

Archers.

"You gotta admit, they rock PRETTY hard for a group with no arms."