Field Funnyman Gifts

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Oh Hi!'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"Static cling."

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"That was definitely mine."

"A raise? Unlimited free refills aren't enough for you?"

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'

A centi-stampede.

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

Grassy breath?

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

Tropical Cow Tank

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

'She says her stomachs ache.'

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."