Field Funnyman Pillows

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Oh Hi!'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

"Static cling."

Alas poor Daisy, I knew her well!

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

"That was definitely mine."

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"A raise? Unlimited free refills aren't enough for you?"

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'..The wolves have got the sheep pinned against their own 1-yard line again!'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

"Ok, let's try it one last time. It's 'Ahhhhhh'..."

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

Tropical Cow Tank

Grassy breath?

A centi-stampede.

'She says her stomachs ache.'

Cow asks the horse for the carrot.

'Bad news is Tim Turkey is dead, the good news is I've made a wish!'

'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'

"The body is eighty-two-per-cent broth."

"I didn't mean to trample him. How do you say 'my bad' in human?"