Yard Humorist Gifts

'It's a perfect day. The sun is shining, the birds are singing and the lawnmower is broken.'

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

Harry Potter learns some 'new tricks' on his first day enrolled in a public school.

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"Static cling."

"Gerald converted the barbecue grill to natural gas."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"That was definitely mine."

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'With proper flossing there's no reason for hens to not have teeth.'

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

'There is a kid at school who can play 'Jingle Bells' with his farts. That is impressive because flatulence is a difficult medium.'

Man is injured transporting cacti.

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.