Yardwork Humorist Gifts

'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

"No, I like the plan. Just saying, have you ever done any actual tunnelling?"

'Henrietta is so self-confident.'

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

'Pass the salt, will ya, buddy?'

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

"Static cling."

"Don't be so dramatic. You tell me you're pregnant every day?"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

"And I put it to you Mr. MacDonald, that on the morning of December 3rd, you had cold hands whilst attaching a milking machine to my client's udder!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"That was definitely mine."

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

Emergency room doctor about half cow: 'Farming accident. Be sensitive - she's beside herself.'

"That's... yikes. I mean... what's even going on down there? Honey, I don't think a push-up bra is very flattering on you."

'MEN! We've got a fire at the cattle shed! Do we want rare, medium or well done?'

'Tropical fruit, imported cheese, coconuts...I'm not really into that 'eat locally' stuff.'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

How to Build a Bungalow

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

'I promise, you're not crossing to the Dark Side.'

Man is injured transporting cacti.

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.