Yard Care Humorist Gifts

"Is this the ride on lawn mower you advertised?"

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Boy squashed under lawn roller.

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

Man is injured transporting cacti.

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

God builds the first lawn mower.

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

Crazy paving company.

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"You've had dogs, cats, birds and even a pony. . . how come your only pets that survive are fish, Arielle?"

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'