Yard Care Humorist Gifts

"Is this the ride on lawn mower you advertised?"

'Couldn't Peter claim Mr. McGregor's garden was an 'attractive nuisance?'

'Keep me informed of the herds' mood.'

An Unexpected Guest.

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Ok, this sty is great and all, but can we get some huge explosions? Wilbur, could you say 'it's about to get real'?'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

Shocking cows and chickens with the ingredients of the cake.

Boy squashed under lawn roller.

Worse case of chicken pox I've ever seen!

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

"Well, I thought I'd give fencing a try, but I sucked at it."

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

"I call it 'Moona Lisa'."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

"You've had dogs, cats, birds and even a pony. . . how come your only pets that survive are fish, Arielle?"

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

Crazy paving company.

'Mr. President, you have a phone call. It's the First Hen.'

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

'Just so you know, leaning on a rake and looking at the sky is not 'yard work', and thus may not be entered into your 'I do so help around the house' defense.'