Lawn Care Comedian Gifts

(No caption. Product information on a bag reads, "Miracle Kil for lawns." with the Grim Reaper applying it to his lawn.)

Death with a strimmer (weed whacker)

An Unexpected Guest.

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"Mulch madness"

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

'George! This way quick!'

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Boy squashed under lawn roller.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

God builds the first lawn mower.

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

Crazy paving company.

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

With their only child off to college, the Gilmonts each suffered empty-nest syndrome in their own way.

"You wanted me to mow all the grass?"

Trump Chia Pet