Lawn Care Comedian Gifts

Death with a strimmer (weed whacker)

An Unexpected Guest.

'Ugh Look The whole garden is just one giant cat toilet'

"When will somebody cut the grass?"

"Mulch madness"

'You certainly went to town growing all that lettuce so I've dressed for dinner.'

"Ma'am, you don't have an ant problem. They're coffee grounds."

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

'George! This way quick!'

Flamingo on a bird table feeding from a shrimp container.

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Um. . . I don't think that's a candy bar.'

"How do you know it's my leaves clogging the shower drain?"

Annual flower having a mid-life crisis in July

Boy squashed under lawn roller.

Man is injured transporting cacti.

Bird feeder being used by vultures.

Bird baths with two different kinds of water - sparkling and still.

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

'Fred's opinion of crab grass is if you can't beat it, join it.'

'It's only a slug Norman.'

'The grass is always greener on the other side seed'.

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

God builds the first lawn mower.

'What if your tree grows, Burl? Won't it choke to death?'

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

A flower beats up another flower - Genetically Engineered plants tend to be more aggressive than naturally grown ones.

'Everybody's entitled to have a hobby. Mine's growing grass.'

Crazy paving company.

"When is it time to stop smelling the roses and suck up the nectar?"

'We want the garden to be stamped with my husband's personality.'

"You wanted me to mow all the grass?"

Avoid Constant Borrowing

"Honey, you’ve got to see this one she just left on the neighbor’s lawn—it’s perfect, like showroom condition." "Dan loved his dog."