Lawn-care Jokester Gifts

"You wanted me to mow all the grass?"

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

Balding gnomes

Dr B orge tests his new cow-fart ozone depletion meter.

Boy squashed under lawn roller.

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

'Well, you always said you wanted a water feature for the garden.'

Gardener digging and finding pipes.

Testing...testing...one, two, three...

COWS: Spare cow

'I love crocuses. They seem to defy the winter snow to let you know spring is coming.'

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

'Is it my imagination, or has this suddenly become harder to push?'

"I wasn't dead yet."

"That was a stupid place to put the lawn mowings."

"Ey up, guys! Here comes the slaughter mower - everyone Duck!"

'Here! I saved his anal sacs for you.'

Turkey with an ax to grind.

Obvious Comb-Over: Please Give.

"Is this the ride on lawn mower you advertised?"

Death with a strimmer (weed whacker)

"You're late again. I'll have to get another driver."

Keep Off The Plastic Grass

"My paw's getting tired. Is your paw getting tired?"

You certainly have a way with chickens.

"The hair growth formula didn't help Bob...so we're trying it in the garden!"

Stone Crop

'I'm trying to increase my pocket money... Do you need some Guano to fertilize your garden, sir?'

Hungry Snail.

"Yes but what if you cut the grass and there isn't a nuclear war?"

Fan on Manure

'I'm looking for a plant that's deaf. I don't have time to talk to it.'

"Wow, you really get a lot of birds in your bird bath!"

'Small gardening jobs? Grass cutting?'