Housework Humorist Gifts

The work of the devil.

'I just find it interesting. You remember everything except where your dirty clothes go.'

The Emperor's New Clothesline.

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

Yeah, I guess it's time to do a little spring cleaning.

'Wow! It looks like my hypnosis lessons finally paid off!'

'I didn't forget to empty my pockets. That's your tip.'

'I really hate cleaning this thing.'

"It's all right for you, my job sucks."

'As if I didn't already have enough cleaning and sewing to do, the big galoot goes and invents COOKING!'

"Here comes my next door neighbor, Frank. I bet he's gonna complain about how his wife shrinks everything."

"The new smart dryer sends you an email when your husband doesn't separate the darks and lights!"

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

Yard Sale

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

'Seriously!? ... Well it's apparent I didn't marry a handyman.'

There! I've made my year's supply of zucchini bread! That's kind of a lot. How can you store them all? It's no problem. I just throw out last year's supply.

'Oh, Olivia, I just love your new caption! Where on earth did you find it?'

'I'm not going to remind you again, Harold. Now, go get the garbage and bring it in here.'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

It's from the homeowners association --- They want me to stop leaving my worries on the doorstep.

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

'Beware you don't trip over him!'

'No it's still not fixed'

"Whoa - You're gonna need a whole new string!"

'It isn't supposed to taste good. It's furniture polish.'

How to Build a Bungalow

Carpet Cows

"Just so you understand in advance - we're not old-time craftsmen, and we don't take pride in our work."

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.