Housework Hilarity Gifts

'Hey, I just mopped the yard.'

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

'I really hate cleaning this thing.'

'She just came down the stairs without walking.'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

'Who put Grandad's teeth in the aquarium?'

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

"Whoa - You're gonna need a whole new string!"

How to Build a Bungalow

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

'All right, who sewed in the disposable diaper?'

"I know this is going to sound completely crazy and off the wall - but do you, by any chance, know how to iron?"

'Yep. I used to use chemical to strip wallpaper, but the cats are more efficient, and there's no nasty smell.'

Wallpapering 4

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

"It's not much, but we've made it our own living hell."

Do it yourself -- get someone else to do it -- get son to do it -- pay -- don't bother doing it -- move house

Oh, yeah, we love having a walk-out basement.

'This mandarin chicken is delicious, Dad. It tastes like you bought it yourself.'

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

CartoonStock Upload

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

'Have a nice day, dear. . . no need to get up and make coffee.'

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

Ice Fishing

"Maybe Dracula wasn't the best one to try this new detergent."

'That's not what I meant when I asked you to add a second bathroom, Roger.'

'No-one else would brag about being on Rogue Traders.'

"So I said 'Would it kill you to do a little yardwork?'"

'That must be the termite inspector.'

'I just find it interesting. You remember everything except where your dirty clothes go.'

'I forgot to close the door?...Seriously? Who puts a door on a hole?'

'I didn't forget to empty my pockets. That's your tip.'