Festive Feast Enthusiast T-Shirts

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

Post-Turkey Stress Disorder

Remember to put the turkey the right way up!

'Do you have a diet plan that allows me to eat turkey, stuffing, sweet potatoes and pumpkin pie?'

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Cut out and keep your own Christmas Caterer.

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

"Sarah has two mommies and both of them are good cooks."

Get your no-turkey recipes here! Eco club. Go veggie for T-day! No thanks! I like turkey, sausage, stuffing, creamed onions with bacon and mincemeat pie. I figured as much. How can you tell? Gut check. That's my gut reaction, too.

Church Basement Foodie

"How sweet, your hand is trembling."

Yo ho ho!

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

"I say we move on to dessert."

"When it comes to turkeys, Mom, you sure know your stuff-ing."

The great bit pie chart of holiday season dining.

Stuffing the turkey.

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

Merry Kissmas

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

Elf of the Month

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

Roscoe's Great Escape

"Yes, you could have cooked it, but you didn't."

Poinsettia

'This would be perfect for Charlene to give her husband...'

"Why the hell aren't you writing all this down?"

December Fest

"I keep thinking it's Christmas."

'Noah, your arc ruse was a great success. This was the best feast ever.'

"I'm making Thanksgiving dinner this year. Do you have Turkey Helper?"

'I wrapped it myself !'