Festive Biologist Pillows

DNA Xmas.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

"I don't believe in you!"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Yo ho ho!

Bad gifts

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Merry Kissmas

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

Elf of the Month

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

There IS a Santa Claus.

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

"I never expected to collide into you!"

'This would be perfect for Charlene to give her husband...'

December Fest

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

"I keep thinking it's Christmas."

"Santa's trying to corner the futures market for coal in anticipation of his visit to Washington."

It was brighter than most, and Biggins allowed himself a quiet smile as he contemplated the immense speeds involved as it burned itself up in the atmosphere...

"Why the hell aren't you writing all this down?"

Poinsettia

'I wrapped it myself !'

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"