Festive Biologist Pillows

DNA Xmas.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"I don't believe in you!"

Yo ho ho!

Bad gifts

'No, dear. I don't think the star on the Christmas tree will implode, and suck our living room into a black hole.'

Help! Have to pay back a big world bank loan.

"Just as I feared. Tariffs."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

Merry Kissmas

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"That's Bridgeport from legal, he's got the consent forms."

"This year let's choose a Christmas card design that reflects the situation the country is in. Let's go for a design that says: Bah humbug!"

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

Elf of the Month

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

There IS a Santa Claus.

'I feel so much safer with an air marshal on board.'

It was brighter than most, and Biggins allowed himself a quiet smile as he contemplated the immense speeds involved as it burned itself up in the atmosphere...

December Fest

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

Poinsettia

'This would be perfect for Charlene to give her husband...'

"I never expected to collide into you!"

'So, there really is a Higgs Boson?'

"I keep thinking it's Christmas."

'I wrapped it myself !'

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

Christmas fairy.

"I just keep getting this urge to say 'Bah Humbug'!"