Festive Conservationist Pillows

'Rudolph, your nose!'

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Yo ho ho!

"Sorry, Rudolph, but the production on electric reindeers and their batteries gives work to thousands of children while you destroy the climate with your farts."

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

Merry Kissmas

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

DNA Xmas.

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

Elf of the Month

Poinsettia

'This would be perfect for Charlene to give her husband...'

"I keep thinking it's Christmas."

December Fest

'Reindeer must now be fitted with the government approved CZ1 catalytic converter to reduce methane emissions.'

'I wrapped it myself !'

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

"You wouldn't believe how much it costs to feed eight tiny reindeer."

'Harold, wake up, you're supposed to be the tooth fairy tonight.'

'-and for fifty years undying loyalty to the company...'

Christmas fairy.

Joey really wanted a Christmas Tree this year...

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

'We'd like to speak with you about your coal policy.'

"Every family has one weird relative - if you don't know who it is, then it's probably you."