Festive Conservationist Gifts

'Rudolph, your nose!'

Rudolph goes green (compact flourescent nose)

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Mrs Claus - North Pole Dancing.

Yo ho ho!

"Sorry, Rudolph, but the production on electric reindeers and their batteries gives work to thousands of children while you destroy the climate with your farts."

'I'm dreaming of a green Christmas, with every recycled Christmas card I write...'

'Tom will coordinate our pre-holiday point-of-purchase displays and Mark will coordinate our post holiday point-of-return displays.'

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"As you can see, I've learned the alphabet."

Merry Kissmas

'Let's open presents Christmas Eve AND morning. That way Christmas lasts for TWO days.'

'I agreed to guide you, My contract says nothing about pulling a sleigh,'

DNA Xmas.

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

Elf of the Month

"Pull over, Rudolph! We'll have to charge the electric sleigh again..."

"I keep thinking it's Christmas."

'This would be perfect for Charlene to give her husband...'

Poinsettia

December Fest

"Why the hell aren't you writing all this down?"

'Reindeer must now be fitted with the government approved CZ1 catalytic converter to reduce methane emissions.'

'I wrapped it myself !'

"What time does the Black Friday parade begin?"

'-and for fifty years undying loyalty to the company...'

"You wouldn't believe how much it costs to feed eight tiny reindeer."

Christmas fairy.

'Harold, wake up, you're supposed to be the tooth fairy tonight.'

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

Joey really wanted a Christmas Tree this year...

"You'll notice it's the same list as last year. Let's try a little harder this time."

'We'd like to speak with you about your coal policy.'