Festive Survivor Gifts

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

A guide to seasons in the North East

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

'Nothing says Christmas like a game of 'Death Slayer 4'.'

Geographical Society Christmas Dinner.

Festivus poles

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

'Hey you take that outside.'

Nutcracker Roller Coaster

Rescuing the NHS for Christmas

"When is it my turn?"

'Not bad, what about the Christmas Cards?'

'I hate Christmas!'

Carolling

"Things have been rough since the merger."

'Rudolph, your nose!'

People sneaking into a Christmas tree farm.

May your Christmas be out of this world!

Congregation

"I'll take 'Jolly Old Elf' for $600, Alex."

'Mister, I'm an organized labour, and if you don't want to hire me just because I'm no Reindeer, I'll sue you because of discrimination!'

"Just once, couldn't we go over the river and through the woods to my grandmothere's house?"

"I hope this isn't another holiday event we won't be able to forget."

Christmas Campout - Even the Reindeer Have Fun!

Hark the Herald Angels Sing

Holiday Shopping

"Night before Christmas or no night before Christmas, I feel like stirring."

I don't know what's worse-drowning over here or roasting over there!

The Real War On Christmas

Here's to all those poor souls in retail who have to work on Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's so their employers can make a few crummy extra bucks..."

'I made it all the way through Thanksgiving... then I made it all the way through Christmas, then I had to go and die in a bizarre gardening accident!'

"No in-laws, no office parties, no shopping...I'm experiencing a Post Holiday High!"