Festive Season Survivor Gifts

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

A guide to seasons in the North East

Bug Spray/Sun Screen

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

'My purse! The original 24-hour pharmacy.'

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Oh, you know - wearing light clothing, drinking plenty of liquids, and avoiding strenuous activity."

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

'Here's an interesting article. 'Cold or Seasonal Allergy?''

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

Great Moment in North Pole History

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

Accept cookies?

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

Notice! Due to COVID, all reindeer games are postponed indefinitely.

'Eureka! -- A cure for the summertime blues!'

Christmas Cow.

"Don't you love the smell of burning leather boots this time of year?"

Can you guess what it is yet?