Festive Season Saver Gifts

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

Santa Claus's Mail

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Five

'My secret? Stay away from Halloween candy.'

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

Pinata good bags.

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

Happy New Ear!

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

Great Moment in North Pole History

Because of bad weather and lots of people moving slowly on the path, it took forever to get here! Everybody was picking up a pumpkin on Wednesday. There was a huge crowd and long lines at the pumpkin patch. My brother and I can't be seated together today. We'd argue and disagree about who should run the village council. After this huge meal nobody's gonna want to stick around and clean up this mess! If they're still having this celebration centuries from now, I'm sure they'll have worked i

Santa Elevator

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

Accept cookies?

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"