Festive Season Gifts

'Just the one, thanks.'

"Already?"

'Skip the meal more room for dessert!'

'Christmas is coming; I want to review my policy.'

'I'm sorry to disturb you, but new health and safety rules prohibit me from climbing down your chimney.'

"One more time, Mr Claus - who sold you the data?"

Post-Season's Greetings: 'Y'know...a month ago, everyone was all, 'Let me buy you a drink, Santa!' Now suddenly it's, 'Who's the little weirdo in the red suit?'...'

Accept cookies?

Rudolph at a Traffic Light

'Let me remind you that in our legal system we're nice until proven naughty.'

'It's that time of year again, so I'm going through the motions of being good for goodness sake. What are you doing?'

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

'Halloween, Thanksgiving, and at last it's really you...the Big Enchilada!'

'Don't try to kid me - that whole Rudolph thing is just a publicity stunt, isn't it?'

"Writing Christmas cards shouldn't be this complicated dear!"

"I'll never understand grown ups. They make you go back to school the day after New Year, then wonder what causes post-holiday doldrums."

"No more for him, he has to drive."

'I need tickets to...everywhere.'

Santa Claus's Sleigh in Flight

"Have a Happy Christmas and a great New Year."

Christmas Plunger

'They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games!'

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

"Sorry I'm late. Argos was a nightmare."

"Cheer up, Mr. Claus. At least someone believes you're real."

Merry Christmask!

"Thank you, sir. And have a happy holiday of your choice!"

Holiday Shopping on Thanksgiving?!!

'Of course the rate of depression goes up on Christmas. The malls are closed.'

'His last wish was to see one more Christmas but then he realised he couldn't afford it.'

"Santa left the regional distribution center yesterday and is processing in a facility in Ohio today, so looks like he'll be out for delivery a day later than expected."

'Go to bed. I'm too busy to get into a debate over whether or not I exist.'

Santa Claus Ringing in Peace and Goodwill

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

Santa picks out a suitable light bulb for Rudolph's nose.