Festive Season Saver Pillows

"Will you only promise the children toys that can be brought at this store?"

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

Santa Claus's Mail

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"As you can see, I've alphabetized the items, presents owing if you will, so if you can digitally initial here, here, here, here and here and sign there. Thank you. See you December 24."

Mrs. Claus has a ladies night out.

"We don't care about his nose. We won't let him play because he's not vaccinated and won't wear a mask!"

'You and your 'Rescue the Reindeer' campaign!'

"I prefer to talk to Mrs. Claus. She doesn't care if I'm naughty or nice."

"Why would I want to meet Santa? I can just go home and log onto his social media page from the comfort of my bed."

'Do I get to take an 'elfie' with Santa, too?'

"Could you help me fit nine days work into five and still see my family?"

"Well, I have an opening in Cloverdale Mall ... let me hear you say Ho Ho Ho."

North Pole twinned with Amazon

"Do you feel your eyes have changed any since your last visit?" "No. They seem to be ho, ho, ho, holding their own."

"We can do it on the net now... so it's off to the knackery for you."

"At this rate I'll be delivering all gift certificates, gift cards and I.O.U.s!"

Magazines layout Christmas issues months in advance so a woe of cartoonists is struggling to draw Christmas gags in the July heat.

'It's the LAST time I volunteer to organise the staff Christmas meal, I've spent three days trying to find a 'traditional' lacto-vegan Christmas menu.'

Happy New Ear!

'Leave the Iranian airspace at once!'

"And if you don't know what to say, just say, 'Ho, ho, ho!''

'Yes, I think you better had ask Santa for it. Because there's no way I could afford to buy it.'

"Well, one good thing about summer...is I work more hours and make a lot more money. The bad thing is...I have a lot more free time to spend it all."

Great Moment in North Pole History

Santa Elevator

Accept cookies?

"I don't care what your father said, Santa likes milk and cookies NOT beer and pretzels!"

"Each year John has so much trouble untangling the lights, they're on him longer than the tree!"

"Due to budget cuts, I will be your Ghost of Christmas Past, Present and Future."