Festive Survivor Pillows

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

Santa Claus You Are Welcome.

A guide to seasons in the North East

"Darling, do you remember where I put the insurance policies?"

'Ahh...I see you travelling far and wide on a long fruitless mission but you still can't find a town centre parking space this Christmas...'

'Nothing says Christmas like a game of 'Death Slayer 4'.'

Geographical Society Christmas Dinner.

Festivus poles

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

'Quick, shut the door! The flu!'

Rescuing the NHS for Christmas

'Hey you take that outside.'

"When is it my turn?"

Nutcracker Roller Coaster

"Has your husband been exposed to Christmas at all?"

'Not bad, what about the Christmas Cards?'

'I hate Christmas!'

Carolling

"Things have been rough since the merger."

Congregation

'Rudolph, your nose!'

May your Christmas be out of this world!

People sneaking into a Christmas tree farm.

'Mister, I'm an organized labour, and if you don't want to hire me just because I'm no Reindeer, I'll sue you because of discrimination!'

"I'll take 'Jolly Old Elf' for $600, Alex."

"Night before Christmas or no night before Christmas, I feel like stirring."

The Real War On Christmas

Holiday Shopping

Christmas Campout - Even the Reindeer Have Fun!

"Just once, couldn't we go over the river and through the woods to my grandmothere's house?"

Hark the Herald Angels Sing

"I hope this isn't another holiday event we won't be able to forget."

I don't know what's worse-drowning over here or roasting over there!

"No in-laws, no office parties, no shopping...I'm experiencing a Post Holiday High!"

'I made it all the way through Thanksgiving... then I made it all the way through Christmas, then I had to go and die in a bizarre gardening accident!'