Festive Player Pillows

'It's just not your lucky night I guess - saaaay, hows about we deal fer what's in the sack big guy?!'

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Frosting the Snowman

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

Classic Emojis for sale.

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

Bad gifts

Safe Christmas.

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

'Nothing says Christmas like a game of 'Death Slayer 4'.'

"O Holy night - Aye! The stars are brightly shining - YUH!"

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

"Smile if you're guilty!"

'No cuts in Medicare!'

'If you expect to get this stuff, you need to work on your ground game.'

Rescuing the NHS for Christmas

"When is it my turn?"

Xmas

'Hey you take that outside.'

'Sorry - I left the naughty kid files on the train.'

Santa playing golf.

'What I like about Christmas is that wonderful feeling of freedom when it's all over.'

Carolling

"Kids on the right, elves on the left."

Elf

Congregation

'Of course I believe in Santa. Just not a publicly funded one.'

"I can't help but feel disappointed."

'He sees me when I'm sleeping, he knows when I'm awake...'

"No more for him, he has to drive."

Santa accidentally brings his mail bag instead of his gift bag.

'Mister, I'm an organized labour, and if you don't want to hire me just because I'm no Reindeer, I'll sue you because of discrimination!'

"I'll take 'Jolly Old Elf' for $600, Alex."