Festive Performer Pillows

The Problem with On-the-fly Christmas Caroling

School Christmas Concert.

Five Gold Rings

'Santa recalled thousands of toys ― he delivered them to kids who're in fact naughty.'

"A GPS! Thanks guys! It's exactly what I need to guide my sleigh...you know, in light of that unfortunate hunting accident."

Frozen Turkey: "I hate to bother you on a holiday but I'm freezing out here. Do you have a heated enclosed space I could rest inside for four to five hours?"

Happy Holidays from Sanitary Claus!

Frosting the Snowman

Little girl hoses down walkway as Santa slips and falls

Bad gifts

Classic Emojis for sale.

"We'll see how it goes. It's Santa's first year with the genetically modified deer."

'These spare Christmas decorations make perfect bird scarers.'

'Oh, Christ.'

The Porkypine Pals Christmas Adventure - Part Four

Safe Christmas.

'No, I'm not writing to Santa, I'm writing a blog questioning the validity of Santa, since he has no web presence.'

Santa with a boy on his knee:' I've got your 300 dollars. Did you bring your Mom and Dad's social security numbers and password information?'

'And the Angel of the Lord said unto them, 'Go fill all thy shops with overpriced tat, stuff thyselves sill for four months and see if thou canst get away with calling it Christmas.'

The composer of the 'Twelve Days of Christmas' song.

Birthday Painting

Xmas

Elf on the Top Shelf

'Where were you on the night of October 31st?'

'You better watch out, you better not cry, we're here to abduct some earthlings that's why, aliens are coming to town.'

'Take that off, Fuller. You're scaring the hell out of everyone!'

'Sorry - I left the naughty kid files on the train.'

"Remember now, this is for your Birthday AND for Christmas!"

"Hey you. I can't get in your house because nobody drew a fireplace or chimney. Not my fault, dude. Well, maybe next year. Ho, ho, ho."

"Kids on the right, elves on the left."

'no, they're not playing our song - they're playing your song.'

Carolling

"And a parsley in a pear treeeee."

Elf

'Of course I believe in Santa. Just not a publicly funded one.'